Navigating the teenage years in parenting can often be a demanding journey. While there’s no universal recipe for success, adhering to certain guidelines and approaches can significantly ease the parenting process, notes a seasoned educator.

“With over thirty years’ experience as an educator, having been a high school teacher, a principal, and a parent of a teenager, I understand the challenges of parenting teenagers, especially when they start seeking more independence and distancing themselves from their family,” says Sanet Van Rensburg, Principal of Abbotts College Centurion.

Van Rensburg emphasises the importance of mutual respect in navigating these parenting years.

“While it’s natural for teenagers to seek independence and establish their identities, it’s equally crucial for parents to stay engaged and foster a strong connection. How to maintain involvement and nurture a healthy relationship with a distant teenager? Effective communication is key. Avoid criticism, listen actively, ask open-ended questions, and display genuine interest in their lives. Simple rules like ‘no earphones during our drives’ can foster communication,” she advises.

Van Rensburg acknowledges that teens make mistakes and asserts the need for them to face the consequences of their decisions. However, she stresses the significance of being supportive and refraining from judgment. “It’s about loving them unconditionally, even if you disagree with their decisions, and helping them rebuild their confidence. Every decision, good or bad, contributes to their life skills.”

Recognising the moodiness and unpredictability of teenagers, Van Rensburg advises patience and continuous support, even during phases of disconnection. “It’s crucial to maintain a consistent, supportive presence in their lives, showing them that you’re there for them.”

Establishing clear household boundaries and expectations is essential, Van Rensburg emphasizes. “Involve teenagers in setting these rules to instill a sense of ownership and responsibility for their actions.”

However, she notes the delicate balance required between being present and not overly intrusive. “Participate in their school events, but give them freedom to socialise with friends without feeling monitored. Creating a welcoming environment for their friends is a plus,” she adds.

“The key is not to be a helicopter parent but to trust the guidance and upbringing provided during their formative years.”